As US missiles strike their targets once again, the city of Karachi erupts into a Dance Attack! (reports indicate seven pedestrians injured.)
After the successful capture and murder of number one terrorist Bin Laden, the US military is on a roll! Meanwhile, their Pakistani counterparts hang their heads in disappointment and shame, unable to figure out why they're on everybody's blacklist.
As recently as today, an American drone fell in South Waziristan, reportedly killing dozens of insignificant Pakistanis, the best part is, they've finally killed Chief Commander No.2 al-Kashmiri.
"Killed who?"
"You know, terrorist number...two?"
"But they killed guy number two last week!"
"No, no no, that was just a two YEAR old, dummy!"
"So where's the body?"
However, news sources can not confirm the death as the bodies are "unidentifiable". Although, the terrorist organization had issued a video claiming the death of their top official minutes after the bombing. The Pakistani military was unusually quick to confirm the elimination of the top terrorists, although the Americans refuse to share any credit for their latest triumph.
"Are we ever going to see the bodies?"
"Shh...!"
American forces now are gaining confidence after their successful target.
Unsurprisingly, the Pakistanis are as unappreciative as ever, a local from the town of S. Waziristan complains of the sudden escalation in the number of drones raining down their villages and towns.
"It's like a motion activated lawn sprinkler, as soon as they see any movement, they'll send in a dozen drones!"
Complains like these are common in this country, where every man will find a reason to blame their problems on the Americans.
The American war heroes are saddened by the hostile environment of the country they were sent to free.
"I just don't understand why these people hate us so much? The Iraqis loved us!"
"Yeah, my pal just went home on leave last month, he was so hurt, he killed himself"
It is true that suicidal rates are reaching alarming levels amongst the American soldiers.
"I wonder why."
"Shh!"
However, back to brighter issues, General Mike could not believe their luck, apparently, "designing strategies in guerrilla war fare isn't easy". But after the capture of Bin Laden, the military can do as it pleases, because we're right, we're always right, he explains their number one strategy called "Fluke Attack"; on request for further elaboration, General Mike explained the underlying complexities of this popular method:
"See, it is very hard for us Americans to tell the terrorists apart from the civilians, so we have designed a foolproof way of ascertaining terrorists from the innocent"
"And what's that?"
"Easy, we studied the terrorists movements, their favorite hideouts and their appearances, they love to hide in schools, weddings, McDonalds, and dress up as children.. so what do we do? We bomb them! Yeah!"
"What about the children inside the schools?"
"Eh?"
"The kids inside the-"
"You're either with us or against us!"
While Pakistanis across the world are stricken with grief. Following the recent drone attacks on Pakistani soil, large marches were organized across the world, one such rally was held in Southall, London, grieved Pakistanis displayed tear-streaked faces, with large placards protesting against the ruthless and hard-heartened decision of the PCB to allow Afridi's resignation.
"But we bought tickets for the Hampshire County Cricket to see Boom Boom Afridi" One fan bawled loudly.
Special Investigative journalist, Shaista Wahidi probed deeper into the decision behind Afridi's resignation and speculates the All-rounder has decided to follow in the footsteps of ANP leader and former cricketer Imran Khan. She further added that Imran Khan, on the other hand is not ready for such "stiff competition", and to reinstate his position against the younger competitor, he was recently reported to have undergone a "surgical facelift."
Although, scholars are of unanimous opinion that beauty pageants are uber haraam, and if the competition is to proceed, both Khans might face the possibility of getting stoned to death.
Leading actress, Ms.Farooqi however has a soft spot for the senior figure, relating his characteristics with Bill Clinton, and his career achievements with Lindsay Lohan's.
While most Pakistanis world over are firmly committed to the belief cricket is the answer to all of Pakistan's problems, some disagree. During a particular tense and heated rioting across the city of Karachi, the youth erupted in a dance attack. The younger generation believes dancing Pakistanis are the answer to the terrorism crisis facing the nation today;
"We want the world to know we're just like them!"
"Yeah, we love freedom!"
"We love Hannah Montana!"
Cat Deeley, host of So You Think You Can Dance? was reported to have suffered from a major cardiac arrest, (while Nigel was laid to rest) and immediately called these acts as "dancing disasters", she plans to visit the country soon to offer crash courses on choreography, although apprehensive about her security, she has been granted by the US an entourage of 200,000 military personnel for her safety in the world's most dangerous city. Citizens are overjoyed at the overwhelming response, and have started preparations to set up their own reality dance show "Kia Tum Naach Saktay Ho?"
Research indicates many Pakistanis had Hindu ancestors, (where worship mainly comprised of dancing) hence are genetically prone to breaking out in spontaneous dance sequences.
Ever since the Dance Attack phenomena hit the Pakistani public, many decisions are now being decided through impulsive freestyle dancing. Asif Ali Zardari on disagreement with Gilani was said to have resorted to dancing as means of deciding, while parliament members enjoyed the show, majority of the votes were cast in favor of Gilani. However, sources say a recount was not possible because the votes had gone missing, along with half of the members of the Parliament. Although, suspicions lead to one man (You-Know-Who) no proof (or living witness) has been found linking the suspect to the crime(s).
..."So where's the body?"
After the successful capture and murder of number one terrorist Bin Laden, the US military is on a roll! Meanwhile, their Pakistani counterparts hang their heads in disappointment and shame, unable to figure out why they're on everybody's blacklist.
As recently as today, an American drone fell in South Waziristan, reportedly killing dozens of insignificant Pakistanis, the best part is, they've finally killed Chief Commander No.2 al-Kashmiri.
"Killed who?"
"You know, terrorist number...two?"
"But they killed guy number two last week!"
"No, no no, that was just a two YEAR old, dummy!"
"So where's the body?"
However, news sources can not confirm the death as the bodies are "unidentifiable". Although, the terrorist organization had issued a video claiming the death of their top official minutes after the bombing. The Pakistani military was unusually quick to confirm the elimination of the top terrorists, although the Americans refuse to share any credit for their latest triumph.
"Are we ever going to see the bodies?"
"Shh...!"
American forces now are gaining confidence after their successful target.
Unsurprisingly, the Pakistanis are as unappreciative as ever, a local from the town of S. Waziristan complains of the sudden escalation in the number of drones raining down their villages and towns.
"It's like a motion activated lawn sprinkler, as soon as they see any movement, they'll send in a dozen drones!"
Complains like these are common in this country, where every man will find a reason to blame their problems on the Americans.
The American war heroes are saddened by the hostile environment of the country they were sent to free.
"I just don't understand why these people hate us so much? The Iraqis loved us!"
"Yeah, my pal just went home on leave last month, he was so hurt, he killed himself"
It is true that suicidal rates are reaching alarming levels amongst the American soldiers.
"I wonder why."
"Shh!"
However, back to brighter issues, General Mike could not believe their luck, apparently, "designing strategies in guerrilla war fare isn't easy". But after the capture of Bin Laden, the military can do as it pleases, because we're right, we're always right, he explains their number one strategy called "Fluke Attack"; on request for further elaboration, General Mike explained the underlying complexities of this popular method:
"See, it is very hard for us Americans to tell the terrorists apart from the civilians, so we have designed a foolproof way of ascertaining terrorists from the innocent"
"And what's that?"
"Easy, we studied the terrorists movements, their favorite hideouts and their appearances, they love to hide in schools, weddings, McDonalds, and dress up as children.. so what do we do? We bomb them! Yeah!"
"What about the children inside the schools?"
"Eh?"
"The kids inside the-"
"You're either with us or against us!"
While Pakistanis across the world are stricken with grief. Following the recent drone attacks on Pakistani soil, large marches were organized across the world, one such rally was held in Southall, London, grieved Pakistanis displayed tear-streaked faces, with large placards protesting against the ruthless and hard-heartened decision of the PCB to allow Afridi's resignation.
"But we bought tickets for the Hampshire County Cricket to see Boom Boom Afridi" One fan bawled loudly.
Special Investigative journalist, Shaista Wahidi probed deeper into the decision behind Afridi's resignation and speculates the All-rounder has decided to follow in the footsteps of ANP leader and former cricketer Imran Khan. She further added that Imran Khan, on the other hand is not ready for such "stiff competition", and to reinstate his position against the younger competitor, he was recently reported to have undergone a "surgical facelift."
Although, scholars are of unanimous opinion that beauty pageants are uber haraam, and if the competition is to proceed, both Khans might face the possibility of getting stoned to death.
Leading actress, Ms.Farooqi however has a soft spot for the senior figure, relating his characteristics with Bill Clinton, and his career achievements with Lindsay Lohan's.
While most Pakistanis world over are firmly committed to the belief cricket is the answer to all of Pakistan's problems, some disagree. During a particular tense and heated rioting across the city of Karachi, the youth erupted in a dance attack. The younger generation believes dancing Pakistanis are the answer to the terrorism crisis facing the nation today;
"We want the world to know we're just like them!"
"Yeah, we love freedom!"
"We love Hannah Montana!"
Cat Deeley, host of So You Think You Can Dance? was reported to have suffered from a major cardiac arrest, (while Nigel was laid to rest) and immediately called these acts as "dancing disasters", she plans to visit the country soon to offer crash courses on choreography, although apprehensive about her security, she has been granted by the US an entourage of 200,000 military personnel for her safety in the world's most dangerous city. Citizens are overjoyed at the overwhelming response, and have started preparations to set up their own reality dance show "Kia Tum Naach Saktay Ho?"
Research indicates many Pakistanis had Hindu ancestors, (where worship mainly comprised of dancing) hence are genetically prone to breaking out in spontaneous dance sequences.
Ever since the Dance Attack phenomena hit the Pakistani public, many decisions are now being decided through impulsive freestyle dancing. Asif Ali Zardari on disagreement with Gilani was said to have resorted to dancing as means of deciding, while parliament members enjoyed the show, majority of the votes were cast in favor of Gilani. However, sources say a recount was not possible because the votes had gone missing, along with half of the members of the Parliament. Although, suspicions lead to one man (You-Know-Who) no proof (or living witness) has been found linking the suspect to the crime(s).
..."So where's the body?"
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