Skimming through geo.tv An interesting news piece caught my eye. Let's discuss Ahmadinajad's latest fears. Something tells me now that Osama's out of the picture (research indicates that now only 4% of the new generation was aware of who Bin Laden was, some believed him to be an evil dictator in the Middle East, while others believed he was a fictional movie character from "The Mummy") Ahmedinajad is the next big thing. Although critics negate this conclusion; arguing that the name "Ahmedinajad" can never gain the level of popularity as "Osama Bin Laden". One of the reasons behind Osama's claim to fame happens to lie in his slick name. The American public needs a terrorist whose name is easy to roll off, because literacy levels have touched rock bottom. That's another reason why Former President Bush Jr didn't like to mess with Ahmedinajad, and why his staff instead chose Saddam Hussain.
Apparently President Ahmedinajad didn't take the criticism regarding his name too well. He was extremely demoralized;
"All my life, people made fun of my name, in school, in college, in university, at my job, they would fire me just so they could say "Ahmed needs a job". The President of the Islamic Republic of Iran hung his head in sorrow as he revealed his childhood trauma-
"Wait you fool! I'm not done yet!"
"Oh, so sorryyy, sincerest apologies, go on, please Mr. uh-uh- Ahma-din-ahmed-ina-jar"
"WHAT! You think you're funny too now? First I had to deal with that Jobrani fool, what a shame! What a shame! Making a rap out of my name!"
"What a shame what?"
"What a shame!"
"Um..What a shame. What?"
"Shame on him!"
"Shame on him! Yes! Why?"
"He is a comedian! What a shame! An Iranian and a comedian, By god! Such disgrace, in Iran, you're either an engineer or a dacterr!"
"Okay, this is going off topic..-"
"I am an engineer!"
One of the finer points covered in the interview highlighted his concerns for neighboring country Pakistan. He believes the US plans to hijack the Pakistani Nuclear Facilities and bomb Iran.
"We have precise information that America wants to sabotage the Pakistani nuclear facilities in order to control Pakistan and to weaken the government and people of Pakistan," the president said.
Hillary Clinton, when asked to comment, waved aside Ahmedinajad's concerns by resorting to calling him an "attention seeker" who can't digest the popularity it's neighboring country is receiving. She also went on to say, Ahmedinajad "has an OCD for stealing the limelight" and gave a list of his popular ex-opponents, namely Saddam Hussain, Gaddafi, Mubarak, Michael Jackson, Kim Jong, Maz Jobrani, Osama Bin Laden, Britney Spears etc.
So it came as no surprise when Ahmadinejad joined in celebrating the demise of the World's Most Wanted Man. What dismayed him though was the additional spotlight it gave to the Pakistanis....once again.
"The world just can't get enough of these Pakistanis!" he raged, "They're just puppets! No guts! Spineless lap dogs! It's only natural that I succeed Bin Laden as the World's Most Wanted Man! I challenge you America!"
American officials were quick to reply to Ahmedinajad's challenge. The White House spokesperson was reported to have sided with Pakistan as America's new "vital interest" and promised to "establish a long term presence in the country" and has recently doled out "an estimated 2 billion dollars in aid". He went on to further congratulate the Pakistani military and President Zardari for coping with the West by "helping eliminate Pakistanis".
This statement enraged Pakistanis world over while the Indian Parliament rejoiced and shipped crates full of champagne to the White House.
The spokesperson retracted his statement shortly afterwards, and apologized for the confusion, adding what he really meant was "eliminating Pakistani terrorists".
This further enraged the Pakistani public and a thousand vehicles (and flags) were burned country wide. By now the Indians were so happy, they had declared a three day long national holiday.
Pakistan's General Kiyani was deeply offended and was reported to have "threatened" the Americans against attacking the sovereignty of Pakistan. He had immediately called for a press conference.
"We will not stand by these despicable displays of arrogance against the Pakistanis. I condemn the White House's insensitive statement, I am so grieved that I cry myself to sleep every night now."
While President Zardari was once again unavailable for comment and was reported to have been last seen skiing in Naples. Although secret sources tell us he was reported to have bought his own skiing mount for an estimated 2 billion dollars and was too preoccupied with thoughts on what to call it.
While Ahmadinajad silently fumes, secretly debating whether to run for president of Pakistan in the next elections.
"How hard can it be? I'm not corrupt, no criminal charges, my hairs still black, I even have a genuine degree and can write better letters than Zardari." Unfortunately, his resume falls woefully short of the required qualifications for Pakistan's President *hint*hint*
Apparently President Ahmedinajad didn't take the criticism regarding his name too well. He was extremely demoralized;
"All my life, people made fun of my name, in school, in college, in university, at my job, they would fire me just so they could say "Ahmed needs a job". The President of the Islamic Republic of Iran hung his head in sorrow as he revealed his childhood trauma-
"Wait you fool! I'm not done yet!"
"Oh, so sorryyy, sincerest apologies, go on, please Mr. uh-uh- Ahma-din-ahmed-ina-jar"
"WHAT! You think you're funny too now? First I had to deal with that Jobrani fool, what a shame! What a shame! Making a rap out of my name!"
"What a shame what?"
"What a shame!"
"Um..What a shame. What?"
"Shame on him!"
"Shame on him! Yes! Why?"
"He is a comedian! What a shame! An Iranian and a comedian, By god! Such disgrace, in Iran, you're either an engineer or a dacterr!"
"Okay, this is going off topic..-"
"I am an engineer!"
One of the finer points covered in the interview highlighted his concerns for neighboring country Pakistan. He believes the US plans to hijack the Pakistani Nuclear Facilities and bomb Iran.
"We have precise information that America wants to sabotage the Pakistani nuclear facilities in order to control Pakistan and to weaken the government and people of Pakistan," the president said.
Hillary Clinton, when asked to comment, waved aside Ahmedinajad's concerns by resorting to calling him an "attention seeker" who can't digest the popularity it's neighboring country is receiving. She also went on to say, Ahmedinajad "has an OCD for stealing the limelight" and gave a list of his popular ex-opponents, namely Saddam Hussain, Gaddafi, Mubarak, Michael Jackson, Kim Jong, Maz Jobrani, Osama Bin Laden, Britney Spears etc.
So it came as no surprise when Ahmadinejad joined in celebrating the demise of the World's Most Wanted Man. What dismayed him though was the additional spotlight it gave to the Pakistanis....once again.
"The world just can't get enough of these Pakistanis!" he raged, "They're just puppets! No guts! Spineless lap dogs! It's only natural that I succeed Bin Laden as the World's Most Wanted Man! I challenge you America!"
American officials were quick to reply to Ahmedinajad's challenge. The White House spokesperson was reported to have sided with Pakistan as America's new "vital interest" and promised to "establish a long term presence in the country" and has recently doled out "an estimated 2 billion dollars in aid". He went on to further congratulate the Pakistani military and President Zardari for coping with the West by "helping eliminate Pakistanis".
This statement enraged Pakistanis world over while the Indian Parliament rejoiced and shipped crates full of champagne to the White House.
The spokesperson retracted his statement shortly afterwards, and apologized for the confusion, adding what he really meant was "eliminating Pakistani terrorists".
This further enraged the Pakistani public and a thousand vehicles (and flags) were burned country wide. By now the Indians were so happy, they had declared a three day long national holiday.
Pakistan's General Kiyani was deeply offended and was reported to have "threatened" the Americans against attacking the sovereignty of Pakistan. He had immediately called for a press conference.
"We will not stand by these despicable displays of arrogance against the Pakistanis. I condemn the White House's insensitive statement, I am so grieved that I cry myself to sleep every night now."
While President Zardari was once again unavailable for comment and was reported to have been last seen skiing in Naples. Although secret sources tell us he was reported to have bought his own skiing mount for an estimated 2 billion dollars and was too preoccupied with thoughts on what to call it.
While Ahmadinajad silently fumes, secretly debating whether to run for president of Pakistan in the next elections.
"How hard can it be? I'm not corrupt, no criminal charges, my hairs still black, I even have a genuine degree and can write better letters than Zardari." Unfortunately, his resume falls woefully short of the required qualifications for Pakistan's President *hint*hint*
<3 it! Great piece once again!!!!1
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