This is an Islamic Republic- You Got That Right.

So what happened that irked the Islamophobes liberals in Pakistan, offsetting a spark of condemnation of poor Ronald- the "Islamist"? (Blacklisted shortly after Haqqanis).

I think I should maybe start off by reminding moderates that well, there's no such thing as 'Moderate Islam' (There, I dropped the bomb). The country is called an 'Islamic' Republic (there, there..easy), not the 'Moderate' Islamic Republic (FYI: Pak FO is working on visa relaxations with India). Oh and McDonald's reserves the right to decide how it seats its' customers.

Now that we've gotten the obvious tidbits out of the way let's go back in time and remember the Espresso incident. This lady got barred from praying.. At a high-end cafe.. Inside the Islamic republic of Pakistan.. And all the liberals swarmed like flies to support the Manager's decision because "Espresso has the right to decide where it draws the line between religion and coffee". And because of course, they have the "Freedom of expression/speech etc." So why are liberals backtracking? Why are they accusing McDonalds Pakistan of being "extremists"/"Islamists" (No, I am actually being very serious here)?

So let's look at how the fuss started..This married couple from abroad walks into a Pakistani McDonald's for the first time ever, decides to sit together, an arm around the other. Out of nowhere the nasty extremist mullah-cum-waiter politely asks the guy to move across the table, as it is "against McDonald's policies for couples to sit too closely as it disturbs the family environment". BAM! The guy decides he's been violated by the crazy McDonald Jihadis and takes it up with the Manager. Once the manager graciously entertains the couple's tragic incident, the guy figures it's not enough. He MUST blog about it. And ALL liberal fascists MUST come out and condemn the heinous act against all tolerant moderates. Condemnation isnt enough, the blogger realizes, all liberals MUST start a nationwide movement against McDonalds extremism!

And he's got proof against McDonald's too! The fast food joint, he writes, "let's parents slap their children" for being spoilt brats, without interfering! *Gasp* yes! How dare they allow children to be terrorized and clamp down on couples doting on each other? So what if it's a family restaurant? Ever heard of freedom of expression!

To anyone who's been to McDonald's one of the most annoying and cringe-worthy experience may be being seated near a couple, who oblivious to the surroundings are eye-locked.. hand-locked..foot-locked(?) Away from their families, they'll spend long hours just being downright chichoray simultaneously repulsing all families and couples with impressionable children. I mean, if we wanted Miami, we'd fly out there, right? or maybe tune into HBO (kiddin, try Bollywood)..know im sayin?

You know you've seen them. The cheesiness is revolting, and the shamelessness outright despicable. And yes, I've heard worse tales about these hormonal idiots in the past. Comes as no surprise Management's decided to set guidelines and save us all from public eye infections. So yes, I for one, among thousands of others, welcome McDonald's family policy. In fact, all restaurants should run the same policy, even the beaches! Anyhow, not like McDonald's can tell who's married and who isnt, and even if a couple's married, no reason to flaunt it in public places (PDA=NOT COOL). One policy for all makes sense to me. And heck, it's the Islamic republic of Pakistan, I repeat, it is NOT the Dominican Republic. Okay?

Dr Aafia Is Not the Terrorist!

Those idiots who gloat over human suffering but cry over Ahmadi minerats are. Hypocrisy much?

Aafia Siddiqui! She's like a brand now. Symbol of perseverence and humanity, this girl at 19 was there for the orphans of Bosnia when half the world population didn't even know where the country was! She ran charity events, dawah booths, drove out to teach reverts, simultaneously pursuing majors in Genetics. This lady was infinitely more humanitarian than our phony (Pick & Choose) HR activists in Pakistan. Not to forget WAY more educated & talented than the very fake intellectual wannabees littering Pakistan. (Yes, them).

Dr Aafia is a prime example for everyone who equate Islam with oppression and restriction on female education, because this young woman had shattered those myths years ago like a true intellectual. Is it any wonder why she was such a risk to the 'oppressed hijabi women' fairytales the west wants us to buy into? Is it any wonder why pseudo intellectuals hate on her so much? It's not often you're up against a young & brilliant female neuroscientist who doesnt need to kiss up to western ideologies and sell out on her ideals to earn fame & importance (hint*hint).

So while Dr Aafia's speech from '91 is making rounds on the social media, guess who's been poppin' a few veins? The 'ugly step sisters' (and brothers)! Aafia's fellow Pakistanis (the 1% idiots who insist she's a 'terrorist') can't fathom the 160m strong support she's earned (without even trying). So, the usual hate mongers made a comback to do what they do best; trash talking that can put any WWE superstar to shame.

"@HarveyStirhead: Haha RT@theFakeXYZ: A video of Aafia Siddiqui is being circulated! Lesson needed to be learnt: Hijab chokes Brain cells if worn too tightly."

Granted Pakistani Islamophobes are unimpressivelyy, unpleasantly unoriginal, but YOU dude are just PLAIN CORNY.. like I dont know buddy, try watching Fox News for tips maybe?

“@FKshakhti: Dr.Aafia Siddiqui's case is another hyped emotional drama. She was a criminal who choose to live a life of an impostor. She was al-Queda”

"@Gadzeela: Aafia Siddiqui; oath of allegiance with US; US citizen; broke US law; consequently in US prison."

K.A.Foolhardy:
"Who cares if she’s is alive or not? She’s an american national and is convicted by american court of law. Loosers should stop shedding crocodile tears for her now."

If I kept rolling my eyes at the stupidity these fake liberals generate on a regular basis- I'd be 20/20 in no time from all the exercise my extraocular muscles would be getting. *rolls eyes*

"I have no sympathy for this women, she is not even pakistani as she holds a US passport. I really find it difficult to understand why our population makes heroes out of terrorists and murderers."

^Typical liberal trash talk. In today's age of Google these idiots should be fined for being so factually incorrect. So how many people did she 'murder'? She was actually born in Pakistan so that makes her a Pakistani as much as that mass murderer of a traitor Musharraf's PM.

Hussaini Shehbaz:
"She’s a shame for Pakistanis for what she did….I can never forgive a terrorist."

Fakers! First. Elevate. Yourselves. (nobody really cares for your fake consciential trash talk anyway or who you 'forgive' for that matter) You lot's so funny if truth be told, no one's a bigger embarassment to us, than you suck ups. Ashamed over Aafia? She's more educated and conscientious than you unsuccessful twerpedos & coconuts. She was confident, bright, vivacious, and in that 17-minute long recording, she was brimming with intelligence and brilliance. The US military & their loyal house negro (read: Musharraf) may have destroyed that, but her spirit remains unharmed.
Not every one can deliver a powerfully mesmerizing speech like this woman did. You could tell she believed in every word she said when she spoke about how Islam uplifted the status of women, that while others were busy accusing them for mankind's fall from heaven, Islam placed heaven right under her feet!

Anas Abbas: "Terrorists like Aafia Siddiqui are praised as heroes when legitimate activist like Asma are attacked and ridiculed."

Only ET would publish BS like that from unsuccessful scatterbrains whose only qualifying attribute is their ability to deliver anti-Right rhetoric BS.
Dr Aafia a neuroscientist MIT graduate & caller to Islam is the 'terrorist' while your narcissist pseudo intellectuals, and HR activists (I-Will-Pick-And-Choose-Who-Gets-Human-Rights) are 'legitimate activists', yeah and cars run on water. How come none of your 'legitimate' actors, i mean 'activists' never condemned the torture Dr Aafia was put through under US custody. Torture is illegal, even for convicted terrorists.

* She suffered brain damage
* One of her kidneys was removed
* She is unable to digest her food since part of her intestines was removed during surgery
* She had layers and layers of sewed up skin from the surgery for the gunshot wound
* She had a large surgical scar from her chest area all the way down to her torso
* No visit from a doctor
* Only given Ibuprofen

So in short, you lot are fake, so fake even MJ would look more real next to you fakers & schadenfreud scavengers. It's disgusting the way you derive satisfaction from an imprisoned helpless Muslim woman to maintain your fat gluttonious egos.

You can go on TV shows & pretend to be journalists, when in reality nobody but your corrupt elected officials give a flush about you lot. Launch blogs after blogs, write columns in dailies to insinuate doubts about Aafia (while justifying murderers like Raymond) and still remain insignificant nobodies & wannabee journalists in your tirade against the daughter of the Islamic world.

*Names have been changed to protect (hideous) personalities.

The Caffeinated Dramaqueens of the Internet

No, it isn't because one of the most uptown coffee houses rudely turned down a customer's request to pray. It isnt even because the In charge Manager and his waiter need a copy of "Waiter Ethics for Dummies". It's not even because Espresso is ridiculously expensive. Actually, in all seriousness, it's the growing discrimination that has come to light (once again), in the counter response by the self labelled 'liberals' of Pakistan's social media. This discrimination coupled with the stubborn lack of acknowledgment of the extreme intolerance that comes with it, has become a breeding ground for irrational prejudice against Muslims. In their own country.

Liberal thought has never been about intolerance and discrimination, but how do you drill that concept in a people who foolishly equate liberalism to restrictions on religious freedom? And not just any religion- but Islam. There's a word for it in the west; Islamophobia. And something must seriously be wrong with the 'liberals' in our society if they need medication for it.

A lady orders her coffee..sandwich, politely then asks if the waiter can show her a place to pray. In the west, it's a pretty normal request (and not an unusual sight) which has never been blown out of proportion like it's being done in the Pakistani social media.

You have to ask..did the lady just march in with a machete demanding management to throw out all the obscene diners? No? Did she walk in and demand everyone get down for namaz with her or else..? No? So she just wanted to pray 3 rak'at Magrib?! Then why's the Twitterati crying foul?

The most astonishing part is Pakistan is an Islamic Republic, not the Dominican Republic. It's home to a whopping 170 million Muslims. So yes, excuse me if I find the turning down of the woman's request out of the ordinary. In Ramadan. At Iftaar time. And the response to her request, by the fake 'liberals', nothing short of outrageous. There's a growing tide of intolerance being perpetrated by the media and the secular facists behind it. And it's anything but healthy. Forces bent on making sure religion stays strictly confined within masajid and homes in an Islamic country? Ridiculously stupid. It's like asking for trouble, just don't complain of a backlash when the Muslims cant take the harrassment anymore.

Azhar Khan: "It’s a cafe,not a place of worship,if religious rituals were so important to the person protesting,she should have done Iftari at home and then gone out for coffee later.."
Or maybe she was travelling and didn't have time to go home for Iftaar and Magrib? Maybe that's why she was there in the first place, Einstein?!

Saira Habib: "Why must religious rituals be shoved upon people everywhere.Espresso has a right to remain a cafe,it shouldn’t be coerced into becoming a madrassa."
A person REQUESTING to pray = converting the place into a madrassah. That makes as much sense as square wheels. And then they wonder why our society's so intolerant. (And stupid).

Beenish Amjad: "Why can’t they leave us alone,it’s pretty simple,if she wanted to pray she should have opened her fast in a mosque."
So now we can't open our fasts at cafes. Great!! Scrap those 'Ramadan All You Can Eat' billboards now will you?

Ammar: "Next thing mullah-mizaaj will demand is to turn this place into a masjid?" Uh, why?

That's just a fraction of the hateful comments left behind. So doesn't it make sense if a cafe/restaurant is running iftari deals, they should also accomodate customers who want to pray. Right? Customers first? Ethics? I must sound like Captain Obvious for stating something well so.. obvious.

Over the years our so-called liberals have successfully polarized society into; extremist misfits (they're not exactly liberals and they don't fit anywhere else either) and the conservative Muslims (in short, practising Muslims). Why? Because as history is witness for every evil that befalls a nation, there must follow a blame game. So why not blame Pakistan's corrupt, violence riddled history on the 'Islamists' (read: ALL practising Muslims)? Of course because Pakistan has always been ruled by Islamist shariah abiding groups like the PPP, MQM, PMLN etc. right?

64 years of Islamic rule has totally messed up the country. Mullahs like Zardari and his wife (shaheed!) have successfully turned Pakistan into a 'radical' hell-hole (forget the billions they stole and the monarch like heirarchy regime under the facade of democracy they set up). 'Mullah' Altaf (the song bird) is my favorite, he has his own army of 'jihadists' in every corner of Karachi, with more arms than the US Military (and they don't go unused either). 'Mullah' Musharraf was a 'radical' one (of NRO/Jamia Hafsa Massacre/Phos-Bomb fame), because of his military- I mean 'jihadist' background. He loved his guns (and Mr Bush) so much he even declared 'jihad' against his own country! (we're still somehow fighting that war). 'Mullah' Nawaz wasn't quite sure how to rule as an Islamist so he called in the US State Department to help out. He's in the opposition now, unsure how that works too, so just goes with the flow (with some fiery rhetoric every now and then). So yeah blame the Muslims, it's a trend. And it works.

And the Blame Goes To..

In a heartwrenching incident, a Pakistani woman commits suicide ten years after having acid thrown over her face by ex-husband and former MPA Mr Jaarhead. Liberal Extremists have linked victim's death to the rise of Islamic terrorism.
One journalist Mohsin comments, "These crimes are never perpetrated in modern, secular countries like India, only Islamist extremists are responsible!"
Obviously forgetting the perpetrator belongs to the country's most liberal party, PPP and not Jamaat-e-Islami. The Democratic party of the PPP, champion for women's rights has now been in power since the last five years, accredited with healthy exponential growth in PPP's co-chairman President Asif Ali Zardari's bank balance.

Enraged at the suicide attack, people were impatient for justice. Adil wanted to see some heads roll immediately, "It's the Taliban! The government should arrest all Taliban sympathizers!"

21-year old Sameena recently returned from the US, shares her insightful analysis, "You have to realize, it's only the mullahs fault! Such incidents cannot be stopped unless we clear them all out!"

US Secretary of State, Silly Blimpton condemned the attack, issuing a stern warning to Pakistan, and threatening dire consequences, possibly country-wide acid-attacks if 'Islamic Terrorism' is not curbed.

Bulls eye!

As US missiles strike their targets once again, the city of Karachi erupts into a Dance Attack! (reports indicate seven pedestrians injured.)


After the successful capture and murder of number one terrorist Bin Laden, the US military is on a roll! Meanwhile, their Pakistani counterparts hang their heads in disappointment and shame, unable to figure out why they're on everybody's blacklist.

As recently as today, an American drone fell in South Waziristan, reportedly killing dozens of insignificant Pakistanis, the best part is, they've finally killed Chief Commander No.2 al-Kashmiri.

"Killed who?"
"You know, terrorist number...two?"
"But they killed guy number two last week!"
"No, no no, that was just a two YEAR old, dummy!"
"So where's the body?"

However, news sources can not confirm the death as the bodies are "unidentifiable". Although, the terrorist organization had issued a video claiming the death of their top official minutes after the bombing. The Pakistani military was unusually quick to confirm the elimination of the top terrorists, although the Americans refuse to share any credit for their latest triumph.

"Are we ever going to see the bodies?"
"Shh...!"

American forces now are gaining confidence after their successful target.
Unsurprisingly, the Pakistanis are as unappreciative as ever, a local from the town of S. Waziristan complains of the sudden escalation in the number of drones raining down their villages and towns.
"It's like a motion activated lawn sprinkler, as soon as they see any movement, they'll send in a dozen drones!" 
Complains like these are common in this country, where every man will find a reason to blame their problems on the Americans.
The American war heroes are saddened by the hostile environment of the country they were sent to free.

"I just don't understand why these people hate us so much? The Iraqis loved us!"
"Yeah, my pal just went home on leave last month, he was so hurt, he killed himself"

It is true that suicidal rates are reaching alarming levels amongst the American soldiers.
"I wonder why."
"Shh!"



However, back to brighter issues, General Mike could not believe their luck, apparently, "designing strategies in guerrilla war fare isn't easy". But after the capture of Bin Laden, the military can do as it pleases, because we're right, we're always right, he explains their number one strategy called "Fluke Attack"; on request for further elaboration, General Mike explained the underlying complexities of this popular method:
"See, it is very hard for us Americans to tell the terrorists apart from the civilians, so we have designed a foolproof way of ascertaining terrorists from the innocent"
"And what's that?"
"Easy, we studied the terrorists movements, their favorite hideouts and their appearances,  they love to hide in schools, weddings, McDonalds, and dress up as children.. so what do we do? We bomb them! Yeah!"
"What about the children inside the schools?"
"Eh?"
"The kids inside the-"
"You're either with us or against us!"

While Pakistanis across the world are stricken with grief. Following the recent drone attacks on Pakistani soil, large marches were organized across the world, one such rally was held in Southall, London, grieved Pakistanis displayed tear-streaked faces, with large placards protesting against the ruthless and hard-heartened decision of the PCB to allow Afridi's resignation.

"But we bought tickets for the Hampshire County Cricket to see Boom Boom Afridi" One fan bawled loudly.

Special Investigative journalist, Shaista Wahidi probed deeper into the decision behind Afridi's resignation and speculates the All-rounder has decided to follow in the footsteps of ANP leader and former cricketer Imran Khan. She further added that Imran Khan, on the other hand is not ready for such "stiff competition", and to reinstate his position against the younger competitor, he  was recently reported to have undergone a "surgical facelift."
Although, scholars are of unanimous opinion that beauty pageants are uber haraam, and if the competition is to proceed, both Khans might face the possibility of getting stoned to death.
Leading actress, Ms.Farooqi however has a soft spot for the senior figure, relating his characteristics with Bill Clinton,  and his career achievements with Lindsay Lohan's.

While most Pakistanis world over are firmly committed to the belief cricket is the answer to all of Pakistan's problems, some disagree. During a particular tense and heated rioting across the city of Karachi, the youth erupted in a dance attack. The younger generation believes dancing Pakistanis are the answer to the terrorism crisis facing the nation today;

"We want the world to know we're just like them!"
"Yeah, we love freedom!"
"We love Hannah Montana!"

Cat Deeley, host of So You Think You Can Dance? was reported to have suffered from a major cardiac arrest, (while Nigel was laid to rest) and immediately called these acts as "dancing disasters", she plans to visit the country soon to offer crash courses on choreography, although apprehensive about her security, she has been granted by the US an entourage of 200,000 military personnel for her safety in the world's most dangerous city. Citizens are overjoyed at the overwhelming response, and have started preparations to set up their own reality dance show "Kia Tum Naach Saktay Ho?"

Research indicates many Pakistanis had Hindu ancestors, (where worship mainly comprised of dancing) hence are genetically prone to breaking out in spontaneous dance sequences.

Ever since the Dance Attack phenomena hit the Pakistani public, many decisions are now being decided through impulsive freestyle dancing. Asif Ali Zardari on disagreement with Gilani was said to have resorted to dancing as means of deciding, while parliament members enjoyed the show, majority of the votes were cast in favor of Gilani. However, sources say a recount was not possible because the votes had gone missing, along with half of the members of the Parliament. Although, suspicions lead to one man (You-Know-Who) no proof (or living witness) has been found linking the suspect to the crime(s).



..."So where's the body?"

Pakistan Vs. India: Match Made in Heaven

A famous scientist, Mr Gawking, undertook a study to discover the best way to keep a multicultural and racist nation united. His theory was that the religion of Islam kept the people closely tied together, but like all great scientists, he had to validate this claim with proof first. It was the year 2011 and lucky for him, he didn't have to work too hard, for results were right there on television, with a cable subscription fee of $70.00, he had discovered The ICC World Cup 2011! Yes, bigger, better and blacker (Indians were reported to have spent a whopping 2.6 million rupees on black magic to win the cup) than the FIFA world cup! (that's soccer btw).

So yes, who was kicking butts? Pakistan and-
"Wait isn't that in the middle east where the terraists live?" "
"The terraists? "
"Yeah! You know the terrrraists!"
"Uh, no?"
"Yes! The Talibans, dummy!"
"Yes, and I'm marrying Prince Charming next week."
"OMG, you liar!"
"That's right."

Back to cricket! India was there too, but lately Pakistan's been a world favorite for obvious reasons i.e. It's always in the headlines, they're the reason so many newsless news channels are still in business, c'mon you knew that right? RIGHT?
Wait you didn't see the news about the suicide blast at the KESC office yesterday? The officials claimed it was a short circuit problem which got out of control and burned the entire office, but we know it was the damn terrorists! Or wait, what about the 50 people killed last week by the ruling national party? they said it was target killing, but it was on "Terrorism Watch" last night! Or what about the ten people that drowned in the Arabian sea? That was also on "Terrorism Watch" this evening! They say the boat drowned because it was made to carry a load of two passengers max, but we know it was the damn terrorists drilling holes in boats to kill innocent people! Latest! Billary Blington was visiting Islamabad, she tripped and broke her wrist, that's been on the news all morning, Al-Qaeda claimed responsibility for that one. Yep, I saw it on Hoax News, swear! Can't trust these terrorists, they're everywhere! So be it Cable ConFEWS Network, British Broads Corporation, or sadly even Hoax News (They love Muslims, remember!) they all love to report about the Pakistanis.
Back to Cricket!
So there goes Pakistan, blasting (relax) through the tournament.

The ICC World Cup fever had reached a never before witnessed peak, even the CIA Chief Peon Lanetta was watching it, but then that's his job, keeping an eye on those two-faced Pakis! Damn! they beat England! they're our number one ally, gotta report it the POTUS! How dare these Pakis play ball when they should be helping our military kill their own people!?

Whilst, Mr Bamana too had been conquered by the cricket fever!
"I'm betting the entire nation of Iraq on this match, if America loses, we invade them!"
"Mr Bamana,I'm sorry to say but Mr Douche beat you to that, and America isn't even playing!"
"Oh, right, I meant Iran, wait, we're not? Then who are those people playing in blue and white?"
"That's India, sir"
"Oh, good good, this will keep the Pakistanis busy while we carry out our covert operation, "Freedom Pakistan!"
"Meaning no disrespect, but Pakistan is a free country, sir"
"You are not fit to be the chief of CIA, I shall replace you with Billary Blington!"
"SIR! let me keep my job, and I shall make sure you win another term as POTUS!"
"And how do you plan to achieve that?"
"I'll give you Osamana, and Pakistan!"
"You swear?"
"Cross my heart!"
"Good, now you can go tell the First Lady to start looking for a new gown for my new term!"
"Sir, I have inside news Kate Kiddleton will be wearing Vera Wang!"
"Good, now let the game begin! India Vs Pakistan, I'm betting Egypt on this one! teehee"

People world over are tentatively watching the World Cup, expecting one of the Pakistani players to spontaneously blow up and kill everyone. Just kidding. The Indians are scared though, they don't know if they want victory or the entire Pakistani nation uniting as one against them: the Sindhis, the Muhajirs, the Panjabis, the Pakhtoons, the Balochis, and the Kashmiris, it's like...they're all brothers!
While news casters around the globe are confused, they don't know what new tragedy to report, "but these our are number one terrorists!" they say, "how are we suppose to menace the public now, they can't live in peace, they'll die from boredom and we'll lose our viewers, and no one will hate the Muslims!"
Meanwhile, the audiences world over are more confused,  "aren't these the same people who were literally blowing the brains out of each other?" they're asking each other. The sudden change! Impossible! Yes, Possible! What could be the reason for such unity and brotherliness? Hoax News reports its an Islamist conspiracy to blow up the world! ISLAMIST FUNDAMENTALISTS! AHHH!! They've finally united and now they'll blow us all up! But wait, they're waving green and white flags, minus the threatening sword and Arabic words, phew. Nationalistic pride, we can live with that.

And through all this what's the reaction of the Pakistanis regarding the ICC World Cup? Pawned News Pakistan reports-
'Huge gatherings today were witnessed across various masajids, the worshippers were frequently heard chanting slogans such as "Pakistan Zindabaad", "Hindustaan murdabaad",  "Pakistan Jeetayga!" "Death to Amreeka!"'

Now let's take you inside the homes of the Pakistani people;


"Ammi, today's Pakistan's match against New Zealand, wake me up for Fajr prayer!"
"But beta, you never wake up that early"

"Hey guys, let's go pray before the next inning starts, InshaAllah Allaah will grant us victory then!"
"Beta, don't worry, Allaah mian will guide us to victory against India, after all we're Muslims!"

Back to Pawned News, now let's take a short break, to watch our entertainment segment, presenting, Sheela Ki Jeewani, India's number ONE hit!

Of course, it doesn't matter the other side has an estimated population of 160 million Muslims, because they're not proper muslims! They're not? NAH-UH! They emulate the Hindus, become big movie stars and marry the kuffaar hindus and everyone knows you'll only go to heaven if you side with the Amrikans!
"What if you don't?"
"Don't what?"
"You know, side with the 'Amrikans'?"
*bites nails, looks over shoulder*
"Shhh! they'll bomb us in to medieval times, brother!"
"Aren't they already doing that?"
"No, they're only bombing Waziristan, that's okay, it's in Afghanistan"

And Dr Gawking concludes his study with the following:
"As witnessed through the ICC World Cup tournament, and the "Arab Uprising" I shall dispel the previously held notion that Muslims are bonded by Islam, it is not by the religion of Islam that these people unite, but out of fierce nationalistic pride and ego, as witnessed amongst the Pakistani people, and the Egyptian people, the Tunisians and Libyans and the rest of the Muslim world, where masses united under their respective national flags to rebel against dictatorships for better dictators, with the help of dear old Uncle Sam".

For surely, what will we do without ye?

CIA Chief Peon Lanetta immediately called for a small celebration at Dr Gawking's latest study. Amongst the invitees were:
Pony Player
Kemal Ataturk
Ariel Sharon
Prime Minister Nothingyahoo
Pin Abdullah
Busharraf
Former POTUS Douche Sr and Jr
Queen of Englistaan
Cosby Mubarak
Sir Rush Die
and...
the million dollar question is.........WHO will Michelle Banama be wearing tonight?!

Don't forget to catch the celebration live on Hoax News tonight!